I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize