He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
