dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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