do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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