Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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