I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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