My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
is it fun? or sober?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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