He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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