I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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