I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
