saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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