dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms