I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize