Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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