last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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