there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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