Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize