Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
