just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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