She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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