i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what day is it and did you see me today?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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