they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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