would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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