nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
