3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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