just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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