I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
