dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
