We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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