One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
