I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
