Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it's like iHOP with fire
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
