I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
do nipples grow back?
Randomize