Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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