STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
