The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
