Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
