He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
