I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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