you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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