Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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