Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
