he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
