I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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