Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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