you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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