I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think your dad took our porno
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Holy shit dude........stairs
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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