The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A+ Viking dick
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
