just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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