How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
