If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
