sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize