Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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