Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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