my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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