Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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