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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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